After Sam's physical departure from this world, life as I knew it had crumbled when my soul introduced itself to me. I was living my life conformed to a society that tells you and shows you what is acceptable and what is not. Along with "conforming" comes restraints that "we" put on ourselves. One being "fear." Fear is one of those unpleasant feelings/emotions that will keep us from fully living a life that God intended us to live. Over half of my life I was plagued with acute panic attacks and anxiety. I was afraid of many things so I did as less as possible so I didn't have to face my fears.
Well I knew when I made a short 555 mile trip by myself after Sam's transition I was well on my way to freedom. Free of any fears or restraints that I had piled on top of myself for all of those years. Of course I knew this trip was orchestrated by Sam to help me face my fears, thereby overcoming them because the number 555 is a huge communication he and I have with each other. Having said all of that, when I "really" knew that I had lost my fear is when I went on a family trip to a Theme Park and jumped on the biggest roller coaster in the Park with my grandkids along with the huge waters slides in the Park. I was there not only for my beautiful grand-kids but I was there for me. I had showed up for life. I was now fully present and not just living but experiencing life for the first time ever. I was alive, happy and excited as I continued to take on the next ride and the next one. What is there to fear when the truth about life and death are revealed to you? You see, there really is no death just a step into another room. A quick slip out of this heavy dense body and back to our natural form which is Spirit. We are taught that death is "final." That it is not only the end of a life, but the end of a relationship. I am here to tell you that life goes on and love never dies.
To "spiritually awaken" and get rid of what no longer serves you is the most beautiful thing in the world. It allows you to stand in your own truth (no matter what others think) and "be" and "do" what we came to do, which is remember who we really are. We are all magnificent within our own divine self as we are all sparks of the Divine/Source/God. We are not human beings having a "spiritual experience" but spiritual beings immersed in a human experience. It allows you to live a life that is full of love, happiness and peace and we just can't do that if we are worried what others will say or fear things we shouldn't fear. Losing my fear is like finding my joy, finding my life, myself and living it to the fullest. Showing up everyday and being present in every situation that comes my way. Taking that leap and jumping on the biggest roller coaster that the bravest daredevil would not take on. Throwing your hands in the air as you drop at record speeds while your grandkids look at you with a light in their eyes that you have never seen before. That light is a beautiful thing in itself and I will cherish that day and all the days that follow as I now have "No Fear"
August 31, 2016
Hello, my name is Sheila Jenkins and I am the author of "The Day Before: Eternal Bonds into the Afterlife. I am the mother of two daughters and grandmother of five. I love music, dancing and lots of laughter. After working in the beautiful Shenandoah National Park for 35 years I decided to leave and I am currently a server at the Mimslyn Inn in Luray, Virginia. I worked in the Shenandoah National Park for 35 years where I met Sam and my journey began, which led me to write our story. I plan to continue on my journey and help others discover the divine love within and process their grief.